March 23

For today's Forward Day by Day Reading, Click Here.

Today have been fiddling with the Resignation tool. It's what you grab when there's really no other plan of action to take. On Friday, I thought I'd get good and ready for spring break by running in for a spray tan...you know, to get a little color for our trip out West. Let's just say I didn't apply enough of the barrier cream to my hands and feet and now I am suffering the consequences. I look like I have some kind of liver disease, at least when I give someone a high five. Yuck. Uh oh spaghettios.

Caddy tossed me Resignation when I woke up and saw the full extent of my temporary sallowness. I can't scrub it off, or peel it off, or wash the crap out of my hands, or put acid on myself. That's what I get for approaching vanity. I get stuck with sick orange hands and yellow smokers fingernails. Oh well.

(This just in: Caddy tossed David Resignation when he screamed too loud during Monopoly and the dog butt-juiced on him. Resignation.)